After the Migraine

I haven’t written here in a while. I’ve been struggling to find time to post “writerly” things between the general busyness of life. As I was about to hit the post button on a lengthy status on my personal Facebook page, it occurred to me that I could share it here. That this page doesn’t have to be all “writerly” things. So here’s an expanded version of what was going to be my FB status this morning…

Sending some love to all of my fellow migraine suffers today. 

I spent most of yesterday in a dark room, just surviving. My sole focus was getting through each moment, breath by breath, taking care of basic needs and waiting for the pain to end. My head feels fragile today. It took almost two hours to summon the courage to get out of bed. But the curtains are open and I am up and moving now (even if it is at a snail’s pace).

When it was at its worst yesterday, Peter kept asking what he could do for me. I kept saying, “Remind me that it’s been this bad before and it has always gone away.”

Migraines are like that for me. It’s the insistent pain, the light/sound sensitivity, the aura, the unsteady weakness, and the general and total “wrongness” of how my whole body feels. After the first hour or so, it’s easy to lose perspective and feel like it will never end. But it always does. Eventually.

As much as I hate migraines, and wish that no one (including me) would ever experience one again, the day after is a time to reflect on all the small joys in life. Being able to see sunlight without pain or cross a room without holding on to the wall for support feels like a gift.

My head is still achy and fuzzy. I’m still moving slowly. I still feel fragile. But I’m up the upswing and I know that by tomorrow, feeling “normal” will feel like being a superhero.

My baseline has been temporarily reset.

So I guess—since I have no choice in having migraines—I can at least use them to be grateful for how amazing it feels just to be alive on a “normal” day.

I can send love and hopes of healing to others who have experienced, or who are experiencing, a migraine. I can expand my awareness beyond migraines and send love, healing, and compassion to everyone who is suffering—whatever the cause.

Maybe that’s the important lesson we can find in suffering. Maybe suffering helps us better appreciate joy and better appreciate what others may be surviving in their lives. And I am grateful for that.

Though I’d be even happier if migraines just went away for good. 💜