I dreamed about my mom last night. My mom, who died when I was 13, 37 years ago. For years after she died, I dreamed about her all the time. I dreamed that she was alive. That her death was a mistake. A ruse. A misunderstanding.
In last night’s dream, we had a profound conversation that I can no longer remember. The wisps that remain are a mix of rumination and plans for the future. In my dream state, I knew exactly what I wanted out of the next phase of my life. I was explaining it to my mom as we rode in a scenic chairlift.
I wish I could remember what I told her. More importantly, I wish I could recapture that sense of certainty. I was resolved. Ready to take action. About… something…
Vivid Dreams and Big Ideas
Trying to recapture the details of a dream feels a lot like trying to write a scene that feels complete in my mind. In both cases, the words escape me, despite being… right there. With writing, I can slow down and picture the scene in my mind. As I begin to write a description of what I see, the story flows more easily. I know that getting something on paper is what matters most. Once it’s written, I can hone and shape it however I want.
But with a dream, I’m not trying to evolve an idea. I want to recapture what my dreaming mind said so clearly. And the harder I try, the more it slips away. Is it better to forget the details and hold on to the feelings?
Interpreting Dreams
Can we learn anything from our dreams? Many books and sites claim to interpret dreams. You can look up elements you remember and see what they might represent. There’s a lot of room for personal interpretation, and maybe some interesting overlap in what the symbols could mean.
In this case, the riding in a chairlift could fit with the conversation about a new phase in my life. We were also riding above giant decorative eggs, and I was tossing smaller eggs as I spoke. When one of the small eggs broke through a large egg, I wondered if I should feel bad about that, but my mom reassured me that it was fine. Apparently, eggs are also a symbol of growth and transition.
A broken egg with a positive connotation could mean coming out of my shell or hatching something new. I’ve lost the dream-state certainty of what’s to come, but I’m left with a sense of feeling empowered. And of being supported by my mom.
I think it’s enough to hold on to that.